"Well, I'd like to visit the moon
On a rocket ship high in the air
Yes, I'd like to visit the moon
But I don't think I'd like to live there
Though I'd like to look down at the earth from above
I would miss all the places and people I love
So although I might like it for one afternoon
I don't want to live on the moon "
-Sesame Street

Monday, April 19, 2010

I Wish. I Want. I Need. I Can't?

I wish I was home home, in the US. No matter who is here in the DR, I don't think it will ever feel like home to me, just like a temporary solution to a temporary problem, much like the rest of my life.

I wish I had more money. They say money isn't the solution to everything, but it would seem that in this country, it certainly is. I want to eat healthier, but I cant seem to, because junk food is WAY cheaper than healthy food. I want to take up photography, but I need a camera, and maybe a class, if I want to do it the right way. I want to get out and walk more, see more of this country, but I risk getting mugged/raped/killed. I want a more peaceful family, but our communication seems to be shot.

Am I making these limitations up, and preventing my own happiness?

I've always concentrated on everything that "makes" me do something bad, or prevents me from doing something good. That is definitely something I need to work on.

But I'm really tired of having no money, and not having a job. I had a job, at an ice cream store, all through high school, and it was great having my own spending money. I wanted to spend 100$ on underwear, I could! Now I can't even manage to get spinach AND arugula...I have to choose, on a good week. I understand the circumstances, I just don't like them.

I want to change all of my "I can'ts" to "I cans".

I can live a happier life. I can find a guy worth my time. I can stop eating so much crap. I can start photography as a hobby with my mother's point and shoot.

I am alive. Time to start enjoying life.


1 comment:

  1. I just think you are being a tad too dramatic. I remember when you were @ the US, same story, you complained about school, cold, this and that; same thing here. Seems like you're never satisfied with what you have.

    What you've mentioned is not limited to the DR, it happens in other third world countries as well, but everyone tries to get by with what they have. IF you want something, you'll fight for it; don't be immature, since you won't get what you were fighting for, but the opposite.

    You want a job? Go on job interviews. Want more money? Ask your parents or get a job. Want to take on photography? Talk to your parents; drop out from college and buy a camera and start taking pictures.

    There are no limits on what you can do, those limits are set by oneself, you should just be thankful that you have money to eat with, to get by each week and you aren't starving every single day.

    Instead of criticizing everything around you, "hoping" for something better, say thank you and work your way from there.

    If you don't do anything to realize your dreams, then they'll stay like dreams.

    You can either bitch about everything or do something about it.

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