Why Do Boys Cheat?

On The Early Show this morning, Dr. Phil explained that men who have a ring finger longer than their index finger is one of the traits that indicate a cheating man. According to the good doctor, a longer ring finger is a sign of exposure to higher levels of testosterone while in utero. This leads to the presence of what some crackpots scientists call the "infidelity gene."

Riiiiiight.

Dr. Phil also says cheaters can be detected by using brain scans. He explained that cheating and non-cheating brains have "distinct activity patterns." He claims that a cheater's noggin shows a lot of activity is every part of the brain, while a monogamous man's brain activity is concentrated in the back where the cerebellum is.

So apparently I'm going to have to start examining guy's hands, and give them an obligatory CAT scan before I even think about dating them...:)

I titled this post "Why Do Boys Cheat?", because when people say that men cheat, I feel like correcting them. No true man feels the need to be unfaithful to some he loves, at least that's my humble opinion...Whoever has been cheated on before knows that the first blame you place is on yourself. However, 99% of the time, it can't be helped.

I think the real reason people(because women do it too!) is a lack of self-esteem, a need to fulfill the lack of something inside, something that's missing, that no one can replace.

Regardless, for their partner, it hurts, and it's hard to get over. I personally believe that "once a cheater, always a cheater". You start to doubt everyone else that comes along, because if he did it, why won't the other guy? It takes strength to get over the inevitable issues that come with this breach of trust.

I'm working on it...

Puppy Rabies

I really want a dog. Like, really bad.

There come times where I just crave responsibility, like now. I feel like I could handle taking care of a dog, and I could use the company. I think that's the real reason I want the dog, I just feel more and more alone as time goes by here.

People are so different here, I feel like back home, if someone told you they were going to do something, they would do it, hands down. But here, you can't trust ANYONE, for ANYTHING. I've become so disenchanted with everyone here.

But puppies? Those are some loyal creatures. You feed them, clean them, and love them, and they will love you forever. That is the kind of lovin' I'm looking for. You just can't get it anywhere else. I'm not about to become this crazy dog/cat lady, but I think having a little critter to love will really help my mood out.

I am ready for some doggy love!!...But I have to move first...

-Enjoy this crappy ass day.

Sneakers!

Since I've decided to be more active, I concluded that I need a pair of sneakers, that aren't Converse. I can't even remember the last time I put on a pair of sneakers; I live in ballet flats, flat sandals, and heels...I'm such a girly-girl.

Maybe some cool workout gear(these sneakers I'm lusting after) would motivate me to get off my ass once in a while. Maybe.

Baby Rabies

When I was in high school, I would always say that I never wanted kids, that I was never going to get married, and that I wouldn't even so much as look at a man before I turned thirty.

But now, I've found that my biological is going tick-tick-tick. Loudly. I have baby rabies like no other. I'm obviously not stupid enough to go off and have a baby, as I'm neither in a relationship, nor am I in any kind of position to bring a child into this world.

But that can't stop me from dreaming. I babysit as much as I can, and I know the implications that a baby brings, but that doesn't stop me from looking at adorable baby clothes, strollers, and cribs, imagining what my life as a mommy would be like. But as appealing as mommy life looks, I definitely don't see it without a daddy by my side :)

Like most girls my age, I'm itching to get married, start a life independently from my own family. Not that I want to abandon my own family, but as much as I love my parents, I can't wait to get "another chance". I see it like this:

I saw where my parents went wrong, both in their relationship and as parents. I know what has made me upset, and why I feel unhappy sometimes in my own family. I also know that I will make mistakes, as everyone does, but life, like everything else, has room for improvement. So forming my own family is my way of getting a second chance at a better home life, and perhaps even being a better person.

So I shall keep on looking at baby blogs, and I shall keep on dreaming.

...Because a girl can dream, can't she? :)

Not Me!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Today, I did NOT let FOUR buses go by, because I was waiting for a ride home instead.

I did NOT spend an hour crammed into a front seat next to a guy who found it necessary to shout everything he said.

I did NOT come home, only to get bitten by 34863 mosquitoes flying around under the kitchen table.

I did NOT have a snickers bar after lunch, even though there was plenty of real food left over.

I did NOT go to school and the lady in the registrar did NOT tell me to "come back tomorrow"!

I Wish. I Want. I Need. I Can't?

I wish I was home home, in the US. No matter who is here in the DR, I don't think it will ever feel like home to me, just like a temporary solution to a temporary problem, much like the rest of my life.

I wish I had more money. They say money isn't the solution to everything, but it would seem that in this country, it certainly is. I want to eat healthier, but I cant seem to, because junk food is WAY cheaper than healthy food. I want to take up photography, but I need a camera, and maybe a class, if I want to do it the right way. I want to get out and walk more, see more of this country, but I risk getting mugged/raped/killed. I want a more peaceful family, but our communication seems to be shot.

Am I making these limitations up, and preventing my own happiness?

I've always concentrated on everything that "makes" me do something bad, or prevents me from doing something good. That is definitely something I need to work on.

But I'm really tired of having no money, and not having a job. I had a job, at an ice cream store, all through high school, and it was great having my own spending money. I wanted to spend 100$ on underwear, I could! Now I can't even manage to get spinach AND arugula...I have to choose, on a good week. I understand the circumstances, I just don't like them.

I want to change all of my "I can'ts" to "I cans".

I can live a happier life. I can find a guy worth my time. I can stop eating so much crap. I can start photography as a hobby with my mother's point and shoot.

I am alive. Time to start enjoying life.

Fresh Start

Most things labelled "fresh" have a positive connotation.

Fresh vegetables, fresh soft pretzels, fresh out of the dryer...

A fresh start is also positive. A fresh start usually means something bad happened before. I used to have another blog, which I used mainly as my vent-space. But then I realized that almost every post was full of anger, frustration, and sadness. No way to live life. My life isn't exactly ideal right now...I'm living in a third-world country, where the electricity and water go out regularly, in a room in someone's apartment where six women and seven dogs currently live, and my "home", aka where my parents live, is a cacophony of yelling, fighting, and general negative anger. To get to school, I get in a beat up public car, where there are no less than 2 people in the front seat and 4 people in the back...to a university where my 5 year old cousin knows more than most of my teachers. But alas, most people have it a lot worse than I do, which I usually find to be a pathetic excuse to justify the crap-level of my own life...But in this country, where most of the population live way below the poverty line, you really realize that you have it pretty good.

Sometimes when you see a family of eight living in a tin and cement "house", you feel bad for them, and you can't imagine living in such conditions. However, when you examine closely, you realize that the love that circulates through this home could never compare to an enormous McMansion. That, is the difference between a house, and a home.

I decided that I would be proactive, and make my life better. Start walking more, looking more, and doing what makes ME happy. And who the hell cares what other people think or say. I've decided to be more selfish, and think about ME for once in my life. As long as I don't get shot in the back of the head, who gives a crap?

Eating better, talking to people I would've never spoken to before, exercising, saving money, being nicer...Are all actions contributing to my fresh start

Enjoy this beautiful day, even if it's raining :)

-Massiel