Why So Close-Minded? Part One: Sneakers

After a couple months here, I realized I'm better off keeping my mouth shut around here.

When I toured and candy-striped in hospitals in the US, I never put much attention towards the footwear everyone who worked there wore. So when it came time to take classes at the local hospital, I threw my handy-dandy Converse on; I illustrate:

But black and white. I LOVE these shoes, because they're super comfy. And I think super comfy is necessary when you're slaving away from 7AM-1PM, you know, in my humble American opinion.

As soon as my teacher sees them, she literally SCREAMS at me, and asks me what kind of disrespect I'm trying to show her by wearing sneakers to her class?! Umm. None?

Apparently, I'm supposed to wear black shoes to the hospital, and by shoes I mean ballet flats or ugly-ass loafer shoes. I'm thinking this is pretty ridiculous, considering the amount of time we spend walking and standing. You never get to sit around these teachers, who, for the most part, spend the entire morning sitting on their fat asses and stuffing their fat faces.

So the next day, I wear a pair of AE black flats with my mandatory socks, SOCKS, FREAKING SOCKS!!! and let me tell you, I practically got shin splints from those things. No Bueno.

That afternoon, I went to the Nursing Director, and informed her of the ridiculousness of this rule, and even though she agreed with me, she told me there was nothing she could do, which I found absurd.

But why?! I don't freaking understand why we, as students, must wear; and I list

-A sleeved shirt

-Long pants

-Black shoes with socks

-A Lab coat

Among the endless rules about no nail polish, no jewelry, hair up, no bangs, limited make-up, and having to lug around all of your damn medical equipment and all the random crap your teacher feels like you have to have.

Obviously being strict with rules is getting much accomplished in this country, considering every hospital I've been to looks like a combination of a loony bin, a whore-house, and a rooster fight.

I'm just sayin', going a little lax on all the rules wouldn't hurt, you know?

Next up: Part Deux: OMG SEX!?

Dominican Philosophy of the Day

If the news says sunshine all day, and you decide to do laundry and hang it off your balcony, it WILL start pouring as soon as you get it all on the line.

Dominican Vocabulary of the Day

Jondear: verb- To throw one's self onto or down something. Made even funnier if the person in question is fat.

Working on it.

So I'm figuring out that my stay here in this HOT country is turning a lot to be like bipolar disorder. Good day, Bad day.

Thankfully, things are starting to turn around, and there are a lot less bad days than good...which hopefully will stay that way!

My Spanish still sucks, I still get sad when I see really poor kids, and I still get pissed out when random disgusting men cat-call me. But you know what? I'm stuck here, whether I like it or not, so I might as well get used to it, and take advantage of the things I can do here that I couldn't do back home (I'm still trying to figure that out).

I've yet to go to the beach here, I'm embarrassed to admit, and I REALLY want to go. Again, I'm working on it :)

PS: I managed to land back in the ER; dehydrated, what else? I'm trying really hard not to die here, you know, but the heat makes it impossible! And the fact that there's no Trader Joe's!

Decisions.

I know it's pretty far away to be thinking about it, but I've been researching where I might want to get my nursing license.

I am all over the place.

I've even been thinking about Europe. But mostly in the good 'ole USA. I was originally thinking Miami, FL, but then someone wisely pointed out that it might not be wise to make such a drastic move, after growing up in the Northeast, and going to FLAWrida. But I'm pretty sure going back to NY wouldn't be the smartest idea. So, I started contemplating Massachusetts. Boston might be nice to live in, even if it is cold.

I always complain about the cold, but I've found that I complain even more about the heat. This tropical heat is disgusting! Disgusting as in, I can hardly put lotion on my legs because they'll sweat grossly behind my knees. At least with the cold you can bundle up...you can't exactly run around naked...

I used to be so sure that I wanted to become a midwife, but then I started looking into all of the other options out there for RN's. At this point, I'm really interested in possibly becoming a Clinical Nurse Specialist, specializing in Pediatrics. Only issue is that they don't offer that Masters degree in MA, but they do at UPenn, and Philadelphia is a pretty close second place to Boston.

I told you I'm all over the place.

I know I have plenty of time to think this out, but I'm really the type of person who likes to know. Now.

Blargh.

Do you ever look back and wonder "I wish I was a kid again"?

Kids are so carefree, they don't give a crap about anymore more than "He took my juice box!" and sometimes I really wish I could go back and feel that way.

Nowadays, I feel heavier with every day that goes by, wondering "What the hell is wrong with people?!?!" I feel like every day, there's someone else disappointing the crap out of me, and making me lose even more faith in the human race.

I'm so frustrated!!

Placekeeper.

So I've been an awful blogger.

You know when you have SO MUCH you want to say, that you don't even know where to start?

Well that's me, for the past month.

I've found out that I am easily disappointed. By "friends", teachers, random people on the street...

That's my first order of business...Which I will be getting to at a later date :P

This Semester Might Just Kill Me.

I really have no idea how the hell I'm going to survive this semester. In a blinded attempt to get the hell out of this country as soon as I can, I took 28 credits. I believe in most opinions, this makes me crazy. I agree.

I took all afternoon and evening classes this semester, knowing that I would have a morning hospital practical at least once a week. Little did I know these practicals would be at 7 and 8AM

I am in no way a morning person. I hate waking up early, I don't care what it's for. I hate early-bird flights, I'd much rather fly during the afternoon and night. I get rather grumpy and snappy when I don't get a decent amount of sleep.

Usually, I go to bed around midnight, which I know isn't ideal. Today I found out why it's not. I went to bed last night around 11, hoping that my 7AM wake up call would be easier. It was not. I tossed and turned for two hours, and finally drifted off to sleep around 1AM. Now, when my radio alarm started going off at 7, the first thing that ran through my head was what the hell is going on?! Discombobulated and disoriented, I put on my Ipod to try and jolt me awake, and got ready, and headed out the door with my Yo-Crunch yogurt in hand. Halfway to school, I realized I had forgotten two of my books(I told you I'm not a morning person), and had to walk back home, and power-walk to school. It was hot this morning. Disgustingly humid hot. I actually thought that it would be nice and cool at that God-forsaken hour of the morning. My bad, it was already 85 degrees at 8AM, and I think it was approximately 85% humidity. Gross. I got to school all sweaty, to take my lab practical in preparation for our hospital practicals. These bitches keep us there until 12:30PM, when they finally decide to stop talking. I say talking, when I really mean screeching. Gawd.

I came home just as discombobulated and disoriented as I woke up, ripped my clothes off, and threw myself back into bed, disregarding my 2:30 class. I'll get to that when my sleep schedule is a little better regulated, I think if I had gone to the damn class I would've stabbed myself in the eye with my pencil.

Again, how the hell am I supposed to live through this semester if it's only the third week and I already feel like I'm dying?

Dominican Time Vent

I've come to realize that most of the people here in the Dominican Republic have a blatant disregard for any kind of responsibility.

There really should not be any such thing as Dominican Time. I call it rude and selfish. Time was made for a reason people! When you say I will be in such-and-such place at such-and-such time, it is your responsibility to be there at that time. I promise, it's really not that hard. I know there's insane traffic, I know you have to get ready and spend endless hours styling your nappy-ass hair, however, it is truly not that difficult to take this into account and leave your house before the time you said you would meet someone! Or at least, call the person in question, to advise them that you are going to be late. Don't wait until said person calls you a half hour after you were supposed to meet up, and tell them "oh, I'm almost there". It is widely known that if someone tells you this, they probably have not even left their home.

It is very frustrating, really, and it's a problem that had brought me to tears on occasion, out of pure frustration.

I refuse to adapt to this, plainly because I believe everyone who partakes in this heinous behavior should realize that they are wrong. And by wrong I mean, wake up!

I'm mostly a lazy bum who does nothing but go to school, but I still value my time. And by subjecting myself to this form of blatant disrespect, everyone else is telling me that they don't give a rat's ass about my time, or theirs for that matter.

I could go on for days about this, and the full extent of my anger still would not be conveyed.

I cannot wait to go back to the US.

Exhaustion.

So I moved out of the hellhole I used to live in, and now I am in a lovely, apartment that smells good with a lovely lady who doesn't tend to dogs before her kids. :)

However, I am EXHAUSTED.

Yesterday when I was packing my room up, the power went out, so I packed up my entire room, with no fan, in 90+ degree weather. Needless to say, I basically packed naked. I enlisted the help of one of my best friends, and we hauled my crap down from one third floor, and up another, and then went to the supermarket. I neglected to unpack anything last night, which left the massive amount of laundry and unpacking all for today.

Now laundry is something I used to enjoy very much in the US, it was actually kind of therapeutic, especially the folding. I do not enjoy laundry anymore. Laundry has become a process of using a semiautomatic machine to wash the clothes, then spin drying them, then running them through fabric softener, spin drying them again, and then hanging them outside. This is quite tiring.

I'm proud of myself for getting all of that done today though, especially the way I color coordinated my closet, in rainbow order :) I bet that'll last a maximum of one week, but it's the thought that counts!

I can't wait to be able to go to bed and sleep, uninterrupted, for a minimum of six hours. I doubt that will be anytime soon though...

Camera Fever!

I realize that most of my posts have to do with some kind of ailment :)

I really want to start up a photography hobby, after being inspired by so many of the blogs I read, and how AMAZING their pictures look.

After much research, I decided that I'm going to start saving up for a Rebel xSi, since it's a good beginner amateur camera.

So before looking at actual prices, I started throwing coins in a coffee can, thinking that by the time my birthday rolls along (in late October), I would have a good amount, and my mom could provide the rest. Now, after I checked the prices, I think a moving box would be much more suitable than my tiny ass coffee can.

I told my mom, who is going to NY for a couple of weeks, to check the price on the camera atwhat was our local electronics store, when we lived on Long Island. Maybe she'll interpret checkas buy? Hah! Here's dreaming!

Even though I don't even have the camera yet, I remembered seeing some nifty looking camera straps on MckMama's blog, so I started lustily looking at those too :)

This camera strap is from *Shey*[B], and I love it! :) It's a little on the pricey side, but my sister is quite crafty, and I'm sure she could make me one exactly like it! Or better, since I can choose my colors :)

Enjoy Today! (k)

Why Do Boys Cheat?

On The Early Show this morning, Dr. Phil explained that men who have a ring finger longer than their index finger is one of the traits that indicate a cheating man. According to the good doctor, a longer ring finger is a sign of exposure to higher levels of testosterone while in utero. This leads to the presence of what some crackpots scientists call the "infidelity gene."

Riiiiiight.

Dr. Phil also says cheaters can be detected by using brain scans. He explained that cheating and non-cheating brains have "distinct activity patterns." He claims that a cheater's noggin shows a lot of activity is every part of the brain, while a monogamous man's brain activity is concentrated in the back where the cerebellum is.

So apparently I'm going to have to start examining guy's hands, and give them an obligatory CAT scan before I even think about dating them...:)

I titled this post "Why Do Boys Cheat?", because when people say that men cheat, I feel like correcting them. No true man feels the need to be unfaithful to some he loves, at least that's my humble opinion...Whoever has been cheated on before knows that the first blame you place is on yourself. However, 99% of the time, it can't be helped.

I think the real reason people(because women do it too!) is a lack of self-esteem, a need to fulfill the lack of something inside, something that's missing, that no one can replace.

Regardless, for their partner, it hurts, and it's hard to get over. I personally believe that "once a cheater, always a cheater". You start to doubt everyone else that comes along, because if he did it, why won't the other guy? It takes strength to get over the inevitable issues that come with this breach of trust.

I'm working on it...

Puppy Rabies

I really want a dog. Like, really bad.

There come times where I just crave responsibility, like now. I feel like I could handle taking care of a dog, and I could use the company. I think that's the real reason I want the dog, I just feel more and more alone as time goes by here.

People are so different here, I feel like back home, if someone told you they were going to do something, they would do it, hands down. But here, you can't trust ANYONE, for ANYTHING. I've become so disenchanted with everyone here.

But puppies? Those are some loyal creatures. You feed them, clean them, and love them, and they will love you forever. That is the kind of lovin' I'm looking for. You just can't get it anywhere else. I'm not about to become this crazy dog/cat lady, but I think having a little critter to love will really help my mood out.

I am ready for some doggy love!!...But I have to move first...

-Enjoy this crappy ass day.

Sneakers!

Since I've decided to be more active, I concluded that I need a pair of sneakers, that aren't Converse. I can't even remember the last time I put on a pair of sneakers; I live in ballet flats, flat sandals, and heels...I'm such a girly-girl.

Maybe some cool workout gear(these sneakers I'm lusting after) would motivate me to get off my ass once in a while. Maybe.

Baby Rabies

When I was in high school, I would always say that I never wanted kids, that I was never going to get married, and that I wouldn't even so much as look at a man before I turned thirty.

But now, I've found that my biological is going tick-tick-tick. Loudly. I have baby rabies like no other. I'm obviously not stupid enough to go off and have a baby, as I'm neither in a relationship, nor am I in any kind of position to bring a child into this world.

But that can't stop me from dreaming. I babysit as much as I can, and I know the implications that a baby brings, but that doesn't stop me from looking at adorable baby clothes, strollers, and cribs, imagining what my life as a mommy would be like. But as appealing as mommy life looks, I definitely don't see it without a daddy by my side :)

Like most girls my age, I'm itching to get married, start a life independently from my own family. Not that I want to abandon my own family, but as much as I love my parents, I can't wait to get "another chance". I see it like this:

I saw where my parents went wrong, both in their relationship and as parents. I know what has made me upset, and why I feel unhappy sometimes in my own family. I also know that I will make mistakes, as everyone does, but life, like everything else, has room for improvement. So forming my own family is my way of getting a second chance at a better home life, and perhaps even being a better person.

So I shall keep on looking at baby blogs, and I shall keep on dreaming.

...Because a girl can dream, can't she? :)

Not Me!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Today, I did NOT let FOUR buses go by, because I was waiting for a ride home instead.

I did NOT spend an hour crammed into a front seat next to a guy who found it necessary to shout everything he said.

I did NOT come home, only to get bitten by 34863 mosquitoes flying around under the kitchen table.

I did NOT have a snickers bar after lunch, even though there was plenty of real food left over.

I did NOT go to school and the lady in the registrar did NOT tell me to "come back tomorrow"!

I Wish. I Want. I Need. I Can't?

I wish I was home home, in the US. No matter who is here in the DR, I don't think it will ever feel like home to me, just like a temporary solution to a temporary problem, much like the rest of my life.

I wish I had more money. They say money isn't the solution to everything, but it would seem that in this country, it certainly is. I want to eat healthier, but I cant seem to, because junk food is WAY cheaper than healthy food. I want to take up photography, but I need a camera, and maybe a class, if I want to do it the right way. I want to get out and walk more, see more of this country, but I risk getting mugged/raped/killed. I want a more peaceful family, but our communication seems to be shot.

Am I making these limitations up, and preventing my own happiness?

I've always concentrated on everything that "makes" me do something bad, or prevents me from doing something good. That is definitely something I need to work on.

But I'm really tired of having no money, and not having a job. I had a job, at an ice cream store, all through high school, and it was great having my own spending money. I wanted to spend 100$ on underwear, I could! Now I can't even manage to get spinach AND arugula...I have to choose, on a good week. I understand the circumstances, I just don't like them.

I want to change all of my "I can'ts" to "I cans".

I can live a happier life. I can find a guy worth my time. I can stop eating so much crap. I can start photography as a hobby with my mother's point and shoot.

I am alive. Time to start enjoying life.

Fresh Start

Most things labelled "fresh" have a positive connotation.

Fresh vegetables, fresh soft pretzels, fresh out of the dryer...

A fresh start is also positive. A fresh start usually means something bad happened before. I used to have another blog, which I used mainly as my vent-space. But then I realized that almost every post was full of anger, frustration, and sadness. No way to live life. My life isn't exactly ideal right now...I'm living in a third-world country, where the electricity and water go out regularly, in a room in someone's apartment where six women and seven dogs currently live, and my "home", aka where my parents live, is a cacophony of yelling, fighting, and general negative anger. To get to school, I get in a beat up public car, where there are no less than 2 people in the front seat and 4 people in the back...to a university where my 5 year old cousin knows more than most of my teachers. But alas, most people have it a lot worse than I do, which I usually find to be a pathetic excuse to justify the crap-level of my own life...But in this country, where most of the population live way below the poverty line, you really realize that you have it pretty good.

Sometimes when you see a family of eight living in a tin and cement "house", you feel bad for them, and you can't imagine living in such conditions. However, when you examine closely, you realize that the love that circulates through this home could never compare to an enormous McMansion. That, is the difference between a house, and a home.

I decided that I would be proactive, and make my life better. Start walking more, looking more, and doing what makes ME happy. And who the hell cares what other people think or say. I've decided to be more selfish, and think about ME for once in my life. As long as I don't get shot in the back of the head, who gives a crap?

Eating better, talking to people I would've never spoken to before, exercising, saving money, being nicer...Are all actions contributing to my fresh start

Enjoy this beautiful day, even if it's raining :)

-Massiel